@NYC_Blonde: There should be an option on travel websites that let's you search for "flights that are least likely to have noisy children".
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@Yankeegiant72: After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall
@Procaffinator: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos.
@__candypants: If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot.
@TheAlexNevil: We've all got that one family member who's an embarrassment and this restraining order suggests my family's settled on me.