@sad_tree: There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE
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@ArfMeasures: ME: The kids have ruined their shoes WIFE: Again? [sighs] Just throw them out [Later] ME: Stop crying kids, your mum says you have to leave
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I cant tell you how to do everything. You need to figure out how to do things on your own 5yo: Ok Me:. 5yo:. Me:. 5yo: How do I do that?
@flashember: [Opening questions in a murder trial] DOLPHIN PROSECUTOR: You are a killer whale, is that correct? KILLER WHALE: Yes. DP: I REST MY CASE