@CroweJam: There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
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@turtledumplin: My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund
@i_theindian: Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot
@Thedudish: Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there.
@TheAlexNevil: Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.