@CroweJam: There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
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@smithsara79: *4-yr old niece tells me about trip to Empire State Building Her: It's so tall, I almost touched the moon! Me: Oh you are so full of shit!
@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."