@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
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@WVUPRT: Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] "Did you say single?"
@SortaBad: Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: "I do" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it
@minermikeminer: Meet George Jetson His Boy Elroy Daughter Judy Jane his wife Just kidding, obviously. I'll send the real lyrics tomorrow. Do not use these.