@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UnFitz: If I had a time machine I'd probably go back and kill Hitler but I'd definitely stop on the way to object at my wedding.
@thenatewolf: The lights are dimmed. Sexy music plays. She runs her fingers across my scar. "I got that when I fell off the toilet," I whisper.
@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]