@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
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@DurtMcHurtt: My obsession with building townhouses is going to give me a complex one of these days.
@bigmacher: Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.
@thelaurenobrien: How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira's hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?
@Beatonm5: So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??