@VodkaThursday: There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@chris_isloi: When you give someone a present, unless you say "open it", they're legally not allowed to look inside.
@robdelaney: Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word.
@BruceForce: Trying to convince my wife that the white powder on my nose is cocaine to hide the fact I've eaten a large sugary donut
@trevso_electric: "Jessica wasn't usually dead. So when we found her dead we immediately knew something was wrong." -Investigation Discovery