@K8yH8y: There's a part of me that still loves you. I hit that part with a hammer. Stupid part.
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@callie_cakes: Ex: Holy skinny jeans! Me: They are new. Like them? Ex: Sure... Me: What? Ex: Should a woman your age wear those? Divorce Reason 509
@ashleyaustrew: "I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins." - my 4yo after I explained taxes
@moose_chocolate: Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be.
@TheAlexNevil: 5: I want to learn drums. Me: Ok, but you have to walk them, feed them, and pick up their poop. *confused, 5 walks away I am the master.