@Schmoodles: There's a party in my pants, with an all you can eat buffet, and a VIP entrance in the rear.
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@therealeatwood: I can’t believe it’s 2017 and capital i is still indistinguishable from lowercase L
@jonnysun: "caramelized" is just a word chefs use if they burn things caramelized onion caramelized apple caramelized todd from HR who tried to diss me
@Hobo_Splendido: Did it hurt when YOU fell from heaven? If so, contact the law offices of Leon Molowitz, and get the monetary compensation you deserve!
@FrogAvalanche: *inside camp-out tent* "Wanna hear-" *puts torch under chin* "-a scary story?" *flicks torch on, it vibrates* "OMG. ITS. NOT. A. TORCH."