@Schmoodles: There's a party in my pants, with an all you can eat buffet, and a VIP entrance in the rear.
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@KenJennings: Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen.
@addmoreninjas: That's nice that you're a Christian now. Could you maybe be a Christian a little quieter?
@jackiembouvier: [Me and coworker going for the last piece of cake] You'd better ask yourself if you can type with one hand, Nancy from Accounting.
@OneThirstyNaut: [Enter a password] "beansandsausage" [Password must contain at least two capitals] "limabeansandviennasausage"