@Schmoodles: There's a party in my pants, with an all you can eat buffet, and a VIP entrance in the rear.
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@_GrahamPatrick: PARTY GUEST: So, how did you two meet? HUSBAND: Oh, it's a bit of a fairytale, right darling? [wife is clearly a wolf in a dress] WIFE: Yes.
@FilthyMacrame: I'm a man who hates rocks *smashes a rock with a sledgehammer* oh great I just made like a thousand more rocks
@JWilsonGA: Wife: I'm making breakfast for dinner tonight. What do you want? Me: Bacon. Wife: And? Me: *blank stare* Wife: AND? Me: A napkin?
@EvanJKessler: Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game.