@Token_Geezer: There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect
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@katiefzack: Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, "If I'm alive by then," and hang up.
@daemonic3: [robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag