@FeatheredFreyja: There's no attraction quite as strong as tomato sauce & a white shirt
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@ClichedOut: Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the whole truth, so help you God? Me: Yes, unless she asks me if she looks fat.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: *sees a hot christian girl* Me: I am christian now,where do i get one of those plus signs? Friend: That's a cross. Me: across from where?
@LoveNLunchmeat: Once I read this story abt a meth addict, she'd vacuum her whole house daily, even the walls, and that alone was enough to keep me off meth.