@sidneelyn: there's no attractive way to chase a ping pong ball
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@DaHess1: "Cellphones only work when you talk into them like you're trying to be heard over a buzzsaw screwing a freight train." - My Dad
@Marlebean: Me, bewildered: "What is this odd thingy?" H: It's called a wine stopper. Me, whisper cries: "Why would anyone want to stop the wine?"
@BuckyIsotope: [commercial for soup] Have you ever wanted to eat regular food only with water poured all over it? NARRATOR: SOUP