@CelebrityChez: There's no law that says you can't make a tiny swimming pool in your belly button for a gummy bear pool party.
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@Bownuggets: Hate it when I can't find my slippers so I have to stand upon the wings of my pet pterodactyl Benedict as he fetches me the morning paper
@liv_thatsme: Obama's not stupid. If he's spying, he's going to do it through an appliance Trump actually uses: the tanning bed.
@EJGomez: [introducing you to my family] "this is my son Carson, my daughter Boatdaughter, & our dog Motorcyclepet"
@Lexactly: The problem with seducing someone via text, is you sometimes end up wrapping your warm moth, or mother around his troubling clock