@Thee_Mikey_B: There's no recipe in this world that raisins can't ruin.
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@NicestHippo: [doctor gets job as 911 operator] "What's your emergency?" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE "Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"
@MissNaughty1801: ...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more
@RhiannonOcean: Ok people, I think the big take away from 2016 is that it's really bad luck to start the year by shooting a gorilla