@Thee_Mikey_B: There's no recipe in this world that raisins can't ruin.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
@XplodingUnicorn: Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself. Me: Yes. She did that.
@ericsshadow: FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind
@GiantsofDiving: Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?