@Tups13: There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it.
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@iamspacegirl: *brain waking up* oh god please not again I can't keep existing in this reality *brain 20 minutes later* 1000000 chameleons is a chamillion
@robboma3: Seriously In 20 years time and you're at a pub quiz and a question starts with "in what year" Just answer 2016
@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded. What in the hell do they put in butterflys?
@BradBroaddus: I just got booed off stage by a bunch of jerks that didn't appreciate my humor. That's the last time I'll do a eulogy.