@Tups13: There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it.
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@Tuna_Lover: I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway.
@lovemydogduck: The best way to tell someone you don't like them is to text them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down.
@ElgatoEsmio: "Babe I'm ready for bed" "Why so early its the weekend?" [background] "Next up Channel 6 News reveals Ashley Madison's local business men"