@just1fool: There's nothing more pathetic than asking a random woman if she'll sleep with you unless it works because then you're a genius.
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@TwatWaffler69: You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance.
@iwearaonesie: me wife me wife me: I didn't know it was for you wife [covered in soda because I shook the can up when my kid asked for one]
@AsgardianRose: To the people who have lost one shoe on the side of the road... Are you okay? How does that even happen?
@JamieGreenlees: Wanted: Human left leg, to finish the monster I'm making in my basement. Will pay handsomely. No weirdo's.