@just1fool: There's nothing more pathetic than asking a random woman if she'll sleep with you unless it works because then you're a genius.
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@mariokeyparty: My dad and I were never that close. The company he worked for once had a "father-son" picnic and he invited his father
@slimmy_shady: I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks. So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
@ShesARealGenius: Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do.
@TheTweetOfGod: Paris is suing Fox News for repeatedly insulting it. Also suing them for the same reason: your intelligence.