@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
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@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
@duplicitron: Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.