@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
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@EndhooS: [1st day seal clubbing] Me: OMG this is awful Guy: [choking back tears] I know right? Me: [feeding MDMA to a seal pup] There isn't even a DJ
@sammyrhodes: There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
@cervixsmash: Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank
@markydoodoo: Hit the showers. Smack a sink. Verbally assault a bathtub. Make everyone at Home Depot uncomfortable.