@nerdamage: There's plenty of deeply disturbed fish in the sea.
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@SamGrittner: When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
@TheHyyyype: CASHIER: what, no tip? ME: here's a tip: always wear a seat belt CASHIER: no, i meant money ME: oh sorry. invest in a 401(k)
@KevinFarzad: FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious.
@NiceLittleWife: When I go to Victoria's Secret, I just throw things on the floor to see how they'll really look.