@nerdamage: There's plenty of deeply disturbed fish in the sea.
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@4ndBest: [Crime scene] Detective: the victim was high af when he died.. you could say it was *takes off sunglasses* D: blunt force trauma
@envydatropic: My doctor prescribed a med that has "weight loss" as a side effect......I've never wanted to overdose so much in my life!
@WordsOfaHooker: "So you're a foodie? What's a foodie?" "We enjoy eating out and trying new food." "So you're like everyone else, except you brag about it?"