@EdnaSugar: There's way too much blood in my alcohol system today
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@0hJuliette: Whenever a girl is talking too much, remind yourself that other thing she does with her mouth that you like so much. Might dull the pain ;)
@NotThatKristi: If I was a funeral director, I'd tell everyone "I'll see you later" & then wink, because it's fun to freak people out.
@JasonBerlin: Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.
@BlindChow: [aircraft carrier] *paints a T on the helipad* Captain: No it has to have an H Me: Why? *train sounds approaching* Captain: Oh dear god