@PissAndry: These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these day--oh goddamn it. Did you glue these to the floor, Carl?!
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@LuvPug: These people at the theater are looking at me like they've never seen a grown woman hugging a stuffed animal at a scary clown movie before
@Girl_Censored: I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard...
@aveuaskew: For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive.