@rosssutherland: They didn't leave much room for new models when they called it the 'ULTRA-Sound'. "Mr Sutherland, I'll book you in for a Sonic-Boom"
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@JesKeepSwimming: The ones you keep closest to your heart hurt you the most. Like the underwire in my bra that tried to stab me.
@Jerrypleasure: [First Day as a doctor] Nurse: We need to draw some blood Me: *Sweating* I forgot my crayons and drawing sheets Patient: *fainted*
@underchilde: Three Most Insane Extreme Sports: 1. Solo Climbing 2. Running of the Bulls 3. Family Reunions
@UncleBob56: Wife: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves your mom. W: Your disgusting! M: W: What is it? M: I always wished she'd taught you how to cook.