@rosssutherland: They didn't leave much room for new models when they called it the 'ULTRA-Sound'. "Mr Sutherland, I'll book you in for a Sonic-Boom"
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@HomeProbably: The best thing I ever did was install a fake doorbell. Now no one ever knocks on my door.
@VivaVeronica122: My boyfriend says I'm kind of selfish, but that's not true. I often think of other people. When I'm having sex with him.
@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?