@Duke1173: They ordered two extra large pizzas at work.
I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
@TheDreamGhoul: some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor
@juneohara65: You don't know humility until your Ouija board gets snippy with you.
@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope."
"You mean Collider?"
@Brianhopecomedy: Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony.