@LeonEarlgrey: They say love is worth more than money. But I'm pretty sure my landlord is gona want more than a hug.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: If you're wearing Superman undies, but she's a Batman kinda girl, you might as well put your clothes back on.
@leechee420: How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?
@shutupmikeginn: My funeral instructions to my family were to have me cremated, and I told my best friends under no circumstances should I be cremated.