@bigmacher: They say 'No news is good news,' but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.
@samalmightysam: Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window.
@TheJamieLee: Whenever someone says they hate cats and they're all shitty and snobby about it, I'm like, "Weird cuz you behave JUST like one."