@TheCatWhisprer: They say you shouldn't eat right before bed so now I just wait until I'm in bed.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for "We Will Rock You."
@msdanifernandez: Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one.
@KizerBillhelm: It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.