@OhNoSheTwitnt: They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
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@conanobrienswyf: Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance.
@bornmiserable: Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.
@iamburtjarvis: british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]