@Hellraisinbgrrl: They were called Jumpolines until your Mom got on one.
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@dubstep4dads: "Interested in mail enhancement?" Me: u mean 'male' enhancement "No. [whispering] what if I told u I could get ur mail like so fast bro"
@Fred_Delicious: BREAKING: Pot calls kettle "black". "Racial tension at boiling point" says mayor of kitchen cupboard
@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.