@Hellraisinbgrrl: They were called Jumpolines until your Mom got on one.
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@pinupteacher: [speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]
@flashember: [writing last will and testament] and to Oliver i leave my "Why I Taught Bears To Use Swords" memoir BEAR: [from outside] FIGHT ME U COWARD
@Marlebean: That's disgusting! Where did you learn to do that?! Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's
@IvoryGazelle: CAVEMAN: I got a Masters in History CAVEMAN 2: Nice! How long did that take? CAVEMAN: Nearly half an hour