@RealTrevorJee: #ThingsThatAnnoyMe people who do this at school and I'm just like..
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@SteveSuckington: If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?
@robfee: Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.
@SeinfeldToday: George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:”It’s too desperate.” J:”How’d you find out?” G:”I’m on both."