@gracehelbig: Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?
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@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@TeaAndCopy: [SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is "Oak" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th– J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But… J: Hard luck, kid
@psybermonkey: Peter Pan: just think happy thoughts! Me: um, ok [1 hour later] Peter: *pouring prozac into my hand* look we don't have all goddamn night