@gracehelbig: Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?
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@LisaMcAlister1: There's an opening for a scapegoat at our office. I think you'd be perfect for the job.
@gruffybeard: Son: The landscapers almost hit me with their truck. Dad: So you're saying they almost... Mom: Don't do it! Dad: ...mowed you down.
@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.