@JermHimselfish: Thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working.
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@armyVet1972: Just saw a boneless KFC commercial followed by an ad for apple flavored beer. Anyone remember when adults didn't act like five year olds?
@spazrunsny: Telling a woman she's being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder.
@novicefather: Autocorrect changed "killing spree" to "killing soirée" so bring your finest evening attire because murder can be classy.