@JermHimselfish: Thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working.
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@ArfMeasures: [court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record
@StaceyLynne_44: If anyone needs like five things 25% done and no things 100% done, just let me know.
@jimmytorosian: *Brings axe to slumber party* "Oops. I thought you said 'lumber party'" *Knew the whole time* *Waits until they're asleep* *Chops down tree*