@JermHimselfish: Thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working.
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@MartaEffing: I hug my Uber driver at the airport so people will think I have a family that loves me.
@timdonakowski: Anyone else bite their bottom lip and make a noise when inserting your headphone plug? Me neither.
@NicestHippo: The inventor of the toilet must've had a rough time at his presentation. "Oh here comes Gary with his poop throne idea"