@junejuly12: Thinking it's a not a good thing when the pizza delivery guy knows my dog by name.
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@LeBearGirdle: Wife: [watching the news] oh God, did you see Petsmart got robbed?! Me: [loud barks coming from all 19 pockets of my parachute pants] nope
@Flora__Flora: How does the little mermaid decide which creatures are her friends and which ones are her bra
@Awk0Tacoo: Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?