@Shock_Monster: This alcohol tastes like there's a sock getting lucky tonight.
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@KizerBillhelm: HR says I'm not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
@GroperCleveland: Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died.