@Shock_Monster: This alcohol tastes like there's a sock getting lucky tonight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@theshamingofjay: Dad: Remember when I told you Santa wasnt real Me: Yea Dad: There's one more thing Me: Don't say it Dad: Retirement Me: *sobs uncontrollably
@ruinedpicnic: some people want to be buried when they die. others want to be cremated. personally, I think I would like to be brought back to life
@ThaJawn: God: *holding a cat by its scruff* WHO MADE THIS? Resentful Angel: I don't know. You didn't? God: NO, it hates me and people Angel: weird