@Tmoney68: This baby at McDonalds may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I'm going to win it.
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@littlekitnerboy: If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other.
@ieatanddrink: Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you
@Quartzjixler: Doritos has a new snack called "Taco Explosion" so I'm suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell.
@Mr_Kapowski: I woke up angry this morning She doesn’t like when I call her that but I just call it like I see it