@chrissyteigen: This chick has zero faith in me as a human person
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@Deurb1: Six inches of snow predicted tonight: Is that twitter 6" | | Subway 6" | | Real life 6" | | Or Dan 6" | | Cheesecake
@Ungli_Baba: Me: Dad, how did you guys manage without WhatsApp and SMS ?? Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
@MichaelTrying: Top 3 screwdrivers: 1. Tool for turning screws 2. Vodka and orange juice 3. Method of Uber payment
@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters