@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jenny4ashley: Try explaining to your kid why you're taking a bath with a cucumber then come talk to me about your problems.
@OldSpookMan: A homeless guy asked me "would you give me $5 for a sandwich?" I said "I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."
@_4kidscrazy: Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......
@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied