@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Hello welcome to meteorologist school. Please stick your head out of the nearest window and pick your diploma up on your way out."
@ThaJawn: *breathes on window creating condensation *starts to write in condensation *sneezes *head slams into window and breaks it
@theevilwriter: You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn.