@HiddenPinky: "This does not bode well." - a guy at the returns desk, explaining why he's returning a boder.
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@BrettDruck: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes "Cool, now we're both barking!"
@Reverend_Scott: Noah: An ark? Full of animals?? God: ... Noah: You even listening?? God: Sorry what? I was checking out the iPhone 6. This thing is garbage.
@Death_Buddy: FOUND: 17 AGGRESSIVE DISEASED RATS LIVING IN LOCAL DUMPSTER. PLEASE CONTACT IF YOUR 17 AGGRESSIVE DISEASED PET RATS ARE MISSING.