@shariv67: This Dollar Store thesaurus sure is coming in...
@AthenaMystique: I'd only convert to Christianity to learn how to turn water to wine.
WHADYA MEAN THEY DON'T TEACH YOU THAT? WHAT'S THE POINT, THEN?
@electrolemon: "ONLY 90s KIDS WILL GET THIS" I say loudly as I gesture towards my crotch
@michaeljhudson: I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug
@sweet_pea707: Me: Siri, how do I look?
Siri: Well, at least you tried
@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest*
"Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"