@Crunk_Jews: This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom.
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@thenoahkinsey: Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her "cupcake." How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys.
@captainkalvis: DATE: I think marriage is sooo beautiful ME: [trying to impress her] well my wedding is tomorrow you should come
@LostCatDog: The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw.