@TheToddWilliams: This forest scent air freshener is really working. Three elk have moved into my living room.
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@AndyAsAdjective: *takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*
@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.
@3sunzzz: [sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down.
@Sulky_Girl: My therapist told me cats are not babys, so i let my let my baby shit in his office.