@PyrBliss: This girl just said, "You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?" and I was all like, "Nope." and walked away.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Me: Is there any particular way you don't want your name pronounced? Percy: Not per se
@sofarrsogud: MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss
@NaaN_Conformist: Don't hate on Americans for not learning a foreign language. Hate on Americans for not learning English.
@celticrose2312: Man at garage: "Are you claiming this off your own insurance?" Me: "Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."