@Try2StopME: This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
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@heapsOhate: *finds own number on a bathroom stall* Call for a good time!? This is outrageous! *crosses out good; writes in GREAT* There. Fixed.
@TheCiscoKidder: The beauty of a text message is that it transcends time. You respond at your leisure. Unless it's from your wife, then you have 30 seconds.
@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.
@HeyANow: Truth: My 85yr old grandmother's answering machine says, "I'll call you back when I want to, if I want to." Heroes are all around us.