@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
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@krisv_723: Him: I’m a champion bull rider, baby. I know how to handle the ride. Me: All I’m hearing is you last for 8 seconds.
@DurtMcHurtt: The guy I cheat off moved seats before today's spelling test, like he's teaching me some kind of lessen.
@NoTheOtherJohn: [gives date the "just one sec" sign as I answer my phone] Hello? Oh hi The Pope [I do the hand talking thing to suggest how chatty he is]
@QwertyJones3: PILLOW: Hey, your anniversary is today, go buy her some flowers ME: Wow, thank God for memory foam