@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
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@jtrulez: She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
@Cpin42: I’m sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn’t find the Jews on craigslist.
@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]