@Darlainky: This guy walked up to me and said he knew me from somewhere but couldn’t place where. I asked if he’d ever worked in a liquor store and guess what you guys?
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@MarfSalvador: Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes! My wife: Yeah, like his dad Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*
@nerdreign: I worry that people who say "I'll sleep when I'm dead" may have missed a Science class or two.
@Chumpstring: ME: i don't trust salesmen SALESMAN: OH MY GOD LOOK OUT FOR THAT CAR ME: oh shit where SALESMAN: right over here isn't she a beaut