@sammyrhodes: This ice cream is legen - wait for it - DAIRY.
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@Sickayduh: Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK
@LocoBurritoMan: Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!
@samfromks: If you wear a man bun in a dimly lit restaurant and I call you ma'am... That's on you.