@sammyrhodes: This ice cream is legen - wait for it - DAIRY.
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@marlespo: Twitter: Tell me I'm funny! Instagram: Tell me I'm pretty! Facebook: Tell me I have real friends! Pinterest: Tell me how to knit a condom!
@SteveDutzy: Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight
@QwertyJones3: "That Will Smith is a nice young man, I hope he wins Celebrity Apprentice." No Grandma, that's Ben Carson and this is the Republican Debate
@yobrah_: I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.