@RobDenBleyker: This Independence Day please remember that fireworks are not a toy, they are meant to be aimed at the nearest British ship.
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@ibid78: *interrupts your baby's first words* "IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."
@heyevergreen: if you wear a bikini top instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will think you just went swimming which is athletic not lazy
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?
@AlexvanBeek: When someone has coordinates in their bio, I feel the need to alert their local police, to counter all the psychos en route to murder them.