@DRusso97: This is hilarious....
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@pleatedjeans: Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall
@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
@bobvulfov: day 1: dear diary i have been stranded on a desert island day 18: im starting to think that help will never come day 120: i was rescued by a couple fishermen! day 121: i have been dropped back off on the island because i kept saying “thank cod u guys found me” to the fishermen
@BrettDruck: What's it like to work in customer service/retail? Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.