@alexualhealing: This is just the best forever
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@KateWhineHall: If I ever really want my kids' attention I can just make a YouTube video of me "unboxing" whatever I need to say.
@max_pad21: I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: "What do you do at a red light?" Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."
@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."