@alexualhealing: This is just the best forever
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@Cheeseboy22: The greatest joy you can feel as a parent is when you get the call that they've canceled your kid's Saturday sporting event.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [1st night w/Russian bride] "take yr panties off" [smaller panties underneath] "them too" [even smaller panties underneath] "damnit..."
@oxygenplug: if you ever wanna impress a girl just bring a baby on your date and then basically just outperform the baby at everything it's really easy