@animalsreaction: this is me
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@eminmien: My teachers always told me drugs were never the answer, but they also told me Pluto was a planet, so now I don't know what to think.
@AaronCSU54: My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees.
@Brianhopecomedy: When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, "Sarah Connor?".