@animalsreaction: this is me
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@urmumsausername: I saw a TV for sale for only £1 because the volume button was stuck Did I buy it? Of course I did! Well, I couldn't turn it down Could I?
@MichaelTrying: As an atheist I don’t receive many xmas cards and the ones I do disproportionately say “may God have mercy on your soul.”
@loribuckmajor: Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads.
@NateMorrising: For sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have bought a metal detector.