@delusions_of: This is my salad fork. That's my dinner fork. This is my lasagna shovel.
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@inikoblue: Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me.
@SimplyNamedTron: How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head.
@TheBoydP: The only thing worse than getting caught sneaking alcohol into the house by your wife is being called amateur by your teen son.
@KentWGraham: Guy science: The proper amount of time for a pan to soak before cleaning it is until you need to use it again.