@FailedRckstr: This is the coolest video you will see today.
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@TheThomason: Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
@SuicideBooth1: [couples therapy] Mrs: he's too handsy, always touching me all over... Mr: [who is an octopus] I CANT HELP IT LINDA IM LIKE 90% HANDS...
@RdrJay47: Me: I'd like to adopt that baby. Clerk: Sir, that's a family sized platter of Super Nachos.