@briangaar: THIS KID'S GOT MY VOTE
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@SaraESpivey: After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."
@Chumpstring: [bridge] BUNGEE INSTRUCTOR: forgetting something? JUMPER: what? BUNGEE INSTRUCTOR: your harness. JUMPER: oh wait lol i'm not with the group.
@kentgrossarth: Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.
@Parker_Simpson: Thinking ab including nude photos of me in my Tinder profile to weed out women who vomit easily