@briangaar: THIS KID'S GOT MY VOTE
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@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: wow ok gimme a second GENIE: done ME: wait GENIE: sure if that's your wish ME: be quiet GENIE: ME: damn
@SortaBad: *hears a man crying in a bathroom stall at work* "Excuse me, are you okay? Because you're kinda stealing my thing"
@respected_loner: i hate when the news guys say "our nation's capital". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is