@thatUPSdude: This made me laugh and that's all we need some days.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Me: "I can't turn on the shower" Plumber: "It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up" *Hands over shower cap*
@jonnysun: DETROIT: im doing a secret show at 8pm tonigt at a small club dowmtown! mesage me for details!!! ME: omg a talkimg city
@G_Faylor: [pulls meatloaf out of oven] he's still sweating and singing just as beautifully as ever
@OfficeofSteve: If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart